Dr. Dawn Michael‘s new book touches on a broad range of sexual issues that couples deal with in and out of the bedroom. We had the chance to interview her about the book and ask for some details on what she witnesses in her sexual therapy practice every day.
Dr. Michael holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from The Institute for Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality and is a certified member of the American College of Sexologists International. In addition to her private practice, she continues her interest in teaching, writing, lecturing and developing systems in the field of sexuality, psychology, communications and relationships.
INTERVIEW with Dr. Dawn Michael, author of A Couples Guide To Greater Sexual Intimacy
Q. Why do you think a guide to sexual intimacy is important for couples?
As I always say to my clients, “Anyone can have sex, but not everyone can have intimate sex, the sex that connects people. It is not about intercourse.” My guide book is not just for couples who are experiencing sexual issues, but also for couples that want to spice up the relationship they’re in, or learn new things about each other’s bodies and fantasies. The bottom line is they should be having fun in the bedroom! I find with the ‘workbook’ format, couples really get results.
When doing the “homes” assignments, for example, we focus on pleasure, erotic fantasies, understanding boundaries and how to feel comfortable trying new things to make the connection deeper and more intimate. Couples can talk for hours about a problem and never resolve it, yet with a few touch exercises it is amazing how these once big problems can be dealt with in a new way.
Q. What sorts of issues are couples dealing with, in your experience with your practice?
There are a number of issues that I deal with every day, and ones that repeat over and over again. Some couples have performance issues where they are not able to function sexually and need help physically and emotionally. I deal with couples with different levels of desire, so they need help figuring out where they can meet halfway and still have a rewarding sex life. There are couples that have been through childbirth or that want to get pregnant, couples that are bored with sex. Then there are plenty of cases involving the complexity of changing hormones and issues surrounding aging.
Q. Can you give us an example of a practical piece of information that couples can take to the bedroom?
When we do the intimacy exercises, it is about relaxing and letting go, not having to worry about performance. The couples gets to know each other’s bodies and minds slowly again with out the pressure to have intercourse. Also, the practice is about each person taking responsibility and taking turns initiating so that it is not always one person initiating or one person rejecting. These types of cycles get ingrained and must be changed.
Q. Is there work that couples do outside of the bedroom as well?
Yes, there are several exercises, like the loving exercise where the couple writes down how they want to be loved and then they exchange answers. There is also a date night exercise, a kissing exercise, breathing and touching exercises. Couples find all of these extremely helpful in getting to know each other again in a more intimate way. This book is also a wonderful guide to new couples who are getting married to get to know each other better before marriage.
A Couples Guide To Greater Sexual Intimacy is available at Lulu.com for purchase.
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