Most guys hate being told what to do. But, whether you like it or not, gentlemen, there are still some rules and etiquette that women would really, really like you to follow – especially after a great first date.
Men often do things that drive us a little batty after we’ve enjoyed a great dinner, engaged in scintillating conversation, felt a mutual connection, and maybe even shared a passionate goodnight kiss. The crazy making is usually due to your less than exemplary post-date communication skills. You might think you’re not doing anything wrong, but women think a little different than men. It’s a cliché, but men really are from Mars and women are from Venus.
So, I’m here to remind you of what we expect, how not to blow it, and what will get you that second date. Mind you, these are not first-date tips. This is all about the follow-up and follow-through after you have a wonderful first date with a woman you actually want to see again.
1. Awkward Goodbyes
Most women find it quite bizarre after the end-of-date kiss, when you simply say, “Goodnight” and walk away. It’s awkward, and confusing to us. If you know you want to see her again, strike while the iron is hot – i.e., while she is still basking in the glow of your presence – and ask her on Date No. 2 before she gets into her car and drives away.
2. Bad Follow-Up
If you didn’t ask her out for that second date at the end of the first date, you should text her that night or the following morning. We don’t find this desperate of you. We find it sweet. Really sweet. Send a simple follow-up text that says something like, “I had a great time. I can’t wait to see you again.” If it was your best date ever, go one step further and lock it in with some specific like this: “I had a great time. Dinner, Saturday, 8 p.m.?” If you want to make her really swoon, go the old-fashioned route and pick up the phone to call her. This isn’t the norm for 2015, but it’s always a welcome surprise that will put a huge smile on her face.
3. Text Back Quicker
It’s a scientific fact that women are better multitaskers than men. This is why we can return texts and emails while also working, getting our nails done, or running errands. Hell, I’ve even returned a text in the shower! We realize men aren’t quite as lickety-split on the texting front. But, it’s crucial if she texts you, text her back the second you see it. Sure, you can be busy. Then a simple, “I’m busy. Talk later?” is welcome. Otherwise she might think you are playing games or just not that into her. Showing interest doesn’t mean you are chasing after her. It will actually set you apart from most of the men women date.
4. Premature Hook Up
Be careful not to go from 0-60 too fast…even if you had mind-blowing sexual chemistry or hooked up on a first date. (I don’t recommend that, by the way, but it happens). So, unless you met her on Tinder and she’s made it clear that she’s not looking for a relationship, do not booty call her for a second date. And, do not send a “dick pic” unless she asks for one.
5. Last Minute Plans
Guys might think we’re playing games when we refuse a last-minute date. But, really?! It’s presumptuous and rude to think you can call a girl on a Saturday to ask her out for THAT same night. We do have a life too and like to plan ahead a bit. Personally, I sometimes need a little time to get some primping appointments in, like nails, hair, or waxing. It’s hard to do that on short notice. Remember: A man with a plan is attractive to women. Try to plan at least ahead by a few days. But once you are boyfriend/girlfriend, spontaneity and last-minute dates are more than A-Okay, and can make for an exciting time together.